Belonging: “the understanding that you are an integral part of a community that embraces you for being authentic”
This group gave me a deep knowledge of how to create belonging - When total vulnerability (in this case brought about by intense self-reflection and group reflection) meets love and total acceptance; (this came from the hearts of the people in the group). -Authentic Reflections Participant Self-Esteem/Worth: In order to promote determining our individual contributions to a group or community and observing differences about sense of self from beginning to end of program, participants complete explicit reflection exercises in-line with these goals as part of group-sharing activities. The practice of being not only accepted, but embraced wholly for your beautiful imperfections in a group setting allows for an increase in self-esteem and self-worth, particularly as individuals take further risks and understand they are worthy of the love they are receiving. I felt the greatest sense of belonging at the turning point of feeling most isolated, unseen, and unloved, and being met there by love and support from the group. I was affirmed and held with open acceptance for my choices and my truth. -Authentic Reflections Participant Self-Expression: Many of the activities are centered around improving self-expression, such as through sharing narratives of past, present, and future, as well as, deeper truths, conflicting aspects of identity, and areas of identity involving insecurities. Improving self-expression is achieved through the support of emotional risks, sharing, and having all participants actively participate in activities and discussions. One thing stands out in my memory specifically about the group development. While we were forming a community everyone felt seen, and was able to grow personally because of the group. While we all focusing our energy on the group, the individual was not dissolved in the process. On the contrary, we grew on a personal level, each in their own way, because we grew as a group, something I had never expected. -Authentic Reflections Participant Find out more about programs here: http://chrysalisfacilitation.weebly.com/programs.html
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In my work promoting authenticity, I choose to leave the definition of authenticity open, because I want to promote the subjective feeling as opposed to a more objective idea. Part of my reasoning stems from the difference between independent and interdependent selves. We all have varying degrees of independent and interdependent selves. Society and upbringing greatly influence which self we express more frequently. The contrast between this idea of the self and English self-referencing language demonstrate how differently cultures can think about their identities and placement within societies. Authenticity for an independent self may even contradict authenticity for an interdependent self. There are different conditions that allow each of the different selves to feel belonging. Conditions that allow independent selves to feel embraced include: Conditions that allow a interdependent selves to feel embraced include: Leaving authenticity open to subjective interpretation allows for the variation amongst independent and interdependent selves and understanding their differences takes us one step further in embracing the values in their diversity.
My definition of belonging is: “The perception you are an integral part of a community that embraces you for being authentic” Belonging, which means being accepted for you, differs from fitting in, which means being accepted for being like everyone else. Fitting in requires assessing a situation and changing in order to be accepted. Belonging does not require us to change who we are; “it requires us to be who we are.” -Brene Brown*
Belonging does not fall within a dichotomy, rather the more connected with yourself and others that you feel through various means, the more of a sense of belonging you may have. Connection can be defined as: “energy created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment,” –Brene Brown Components that contribute to connection include:
The more individuals share these components, the more they connect with each other. People have different levels of social connection they need to feel happy and fulfilled. The amount of social connection necessary for the positive well-being associated with belonging will differ for each individual.
The deepest form of social connection occurs when one shares openly and honestly. Open and honest sharing requires an understanding and acceptance of oneself. |
AuthorVrindy Spencer is constantly seeking inspiration on topics of personal and human development, leadership, community, connection, and intimacy (with self and others). Archives
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