Within the final component of the first Authentic Reflections program I asked participants to bring what they learnt to their greater communities (internalize belonging and externalize community). They came up with some community values that they wanted to share: The following is a summarization of several of our conversations. I see these values as the foundation of what the program meant for the participants and a good starting point for facilitating intimacy as a group.
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Belonging: “the understanding that you are an integral part of a community that embraces you for being authentic”
This group gave me a deep knowledge of how to create belonging - When total vulnerability (in this case brought about by intense self-reflection and group reflection) meets love and total acceptance; (this came from the hearts of the people in the group). -Authentic Reflections Participant Self-Esteem/Worth: In order to promote determining our individual contributions to a group or community and observing differences about sense of self from beginning to end of program, participants complete explicit reflection exercises in-line with these goals as part of group-sharing activities. The practice of being not only accepted, but embraced wholly for your beautiful imperfections in a group setting allows for an increase in self-esteem and self-worth, particularly as individuals take further risks and understand they are worthy of the love they are receiving. I felt the greatest sense of belonging at the turning point of feeling most isolated, unseen, and unloved, and being met there by love and support from the group. I was affirmed and held with open acceptance for my choices and my truth. -Authentic Reflections Participant Self-Expression: Many of the activities are centered around improving self-expression, such as through sharing narratives of past, present, and future, as well as, deeper truths, conflicting aspects of identity, and areas of identity involving insecurities. Improving self-expression is achieved through the support of emotional risks, sharing, and having all participants actively participate in activities and discussions. One thing stands out in my memory specifically about the group development. While we were forming a community everyone felt seen, and was able to grow personally because of the group. While we all focusing our energy on the group, the individual was not dissolved in the process. On the contrary, we grew on a personal level, each in their own way, because we grew as a group, something I had never expected. -Authentic Reflections Participant Find out more about programs here: http://chrysalisfacilitation.weebly.com/programs.html
I aim to support the development of individuals through using group structures. My goal is to create and facilitate conditions that allow members of short-term intentional communities to internalize the feelings and positive effects of belonging after the community has dissolved.
I structure my programs based on the idea that a sense of belonging exists on a spectrum, where the more conditions that are met, the more one feels belonging. For example, the ability to be vulnerable and have a shared emotional connection can take place within a group of people through commitment and the belief that members have shared and will share history, common place, time together, and similar experiences. I use these conditions to create communities centered on the shared interest of self and group explorations, instead of a pre-existed shared group identity or passion, such as religion or political views. the basis of our communities is an interest in human connection.
We often forget the variations that exist within our self and the complexity of our identities. One concept of self we explore in the Authentic Reflections program includes the 3 categories:
In the second half of the program we integrate these 3 identity types and bring forth our group identity. Within these identity categories, there are also 3 components of representation:
These components of representations do not necessarily correlate with the amount of time individuals spend with each other, but rather speak to the quality of time within relationships. This is one of my favourite quotes about community.
“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place, half-remembered, and half- envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.” – Starhawk We discuss this quote in Session 1 of the Authentic Reflections Program (Self-Sharing –Personal & Intimate Identity). Throughout the program, we collectively strive to create this type of community. |
AuthorVrindy Spencer is constantly seeking inspiration on topics of personal and human development, leadership, community, connection, and intimacy (with self and others). Archives
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