“Go home and tell someone something a little too much. Take a risk. Maybe they will tell you something. If they do, take, catch it, hold it. Tell them that they belong to you, that you’re going to reserve a special place just for them. Tell them that they matter. Being connected doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice, you sacrifice because you care.
The more expectations you create, the better you’ll dance with them. Give something of value and accept something you don’t have that’s of value to you. Learn, teach, grow, and prepare them for the day that you’re not going to be there. Then tell the story about the people you love. Create rituals, symbols, and traditions then tell them your ability to build a community has grown.” -Dr. McMillan
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It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. -Theodore Roosevelt The best concrete definition of community I have found is: "a group of individuals who have learned how to communicate honestly with each other, whose relationships go deeper than their masks of composure, and who have developed some significant commitment to delight in each other, make others conditions their own, rejoice together, mourn together, labor and suffer together, always having before their eyes the community as members of the same body" –Scott Peck* The concept of community I utilize describes a community more complex than a group of individuals who share a commonality. This type of community fulfills our longing to be our authentic and whole selves. Community is both a noun and a process, where a state of “genuine community” is possible, but rare.
A sense of community is a feeling that members have of belonging, that they matter to one another and to the group, and that their needs will be met through their commitment to be together. This type of community cannot be organized or planned out. Although it is possible to prompt, it must occur organically. The idea of genuine community does not rely on commonalties, but instead on the ability of a group to express its diversity. Expression and acceptance are key. *See Resources for further information and on Scott Peck and his work on community This is one of my favourite quotes about community.
“We are all longing to go home to some place we have never been — a place, half-remembered, and half- envisioned we can only catch glimpses of from time to time. Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak without having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power. Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.” – Starhawk We discuss this quote in Session 1 of the Authentic Reflections Program (Self-Sharing –Personal & Intimate Identity). Throughout the program, we collectively strive to create this type of community. |
AuthorVrindy Spencer is constantly seeking inspiration on topics of personal and human development, leadership, community, connection, and intimacy (with self and others). Archives
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